A Game of Cards and Organic Conversations; A Day in the Life of a Peer Supporter
By Leslie Howard, Peer Supporter PSNS and Virtual Admin at MHI
It's both exhilarating and humbling to wake up as a peer supporter. I often think, "Is this truly my job?" as I prepare for my day. In these moments, I recognize that I have found my passion for supporting others by sharing similar lived experiences.
As I pour up my hot cup of coffee, I do a self-check-in. This inner dialogue usually consists of questions related to my well-being. "How am I feeling right now in this moment?" "What do I feel I need for this day to go well?" "What do I need to have in place if things turn out differently than I expect?" When I give myself the opportunity to do some self-reflection, I can better gauge whether it is healthy for me to support others and make myself accountable for my wellness.
Adopting self-care activities in peer support can be compared to the notion of securing your own oxygen mask in a plane before assisting others.
At the beginning of my journey as a peer supporter, I walked into the common areas of an Inpatient Mental Health Unit, hoping that every person would want to have a conversation and immediately feel comfortable sharing their current reality. My passion for wanting to support others was overshadowing the core values of what peer support is.
Peer support is emotional and social support between people who share a common experience, such as a mental health challenge. Peer Support is a worthy complement to clinical mental healthcare, as it supports recovery.
The very nature of peer support means I have lived experience with a mental health or significant life challenge or that of a loved one, and my peers don't need to have the same. My ability to connect with others going through adversity means I connect with my own adversity (empathy*). Being there for another means putting my judgment aside and being in the present moment. It's the easiest way for me to be there for my peer.
*Empathy is part of building trust. When you genuinely empathize with someone, you show that you "get it." Knowing that someone else understands what you are talking about is not only comforting but also helps to inspire hope.
Recognizing that peer support looks and feels different for everyone was an "ah ha" moment for me. A person's recovery journey is directed by their own strengths and self-determination*, and as eager as I will always be to support them, it must be at their pace and comfort level. As a peer supporter, building trust with your peer is paramount. It provides a safe space for your peer to share their story and enhances the credibility of your input and interactions.
*While self-determination is the concept or recognition that each person has the power to make their own decisions, empowerment is the act of supporting a person to make their own decisions. It is about a peer supporter helping their peer find the power they are not feeling within themselves (empowerment) because you know it is there (self-determination).
When I reflect on my own lived experience, I recall those feelings of being fearful of judgement and if people genuinely cared and wanted to help. As a peer supporter, I must meet peers where they are, mentally and emotionally, and provide a safe space free of judgment and filled with empathy.
A peer support relationship is built on a solid foundation of trust, honesty, empathy, loyalty, and mutuality. I am eager to learn about a peer and their story; however, I need to remind myself that it may take time for a peer to feel comfortable with sharing, and it is their choice to share whatever they wish. Sometimes, creating that safe space is all in the approach. A simple game of cards can encourage the most organic conversations.
It is important to keep in mind that your role as a peer supporter is to provide emotional, social, and practical support for your peer while respecting self-determination.
You cannot cause change for your peer and cannot control their process either. All you can do is be there with them, and support them, wherever they are in their journey.
Often, I have had to resist the urge to suggest a strategy that worked for me. Especially when it comes to self-care. Playing the guitar is one of the ways I practice self-care, as it calms my mind and reconnects me with something I love - music! I can model this self-care to my peer without telling them, "You should take up guitar lessons!" Instead, I can help them discover their own self-care strategies and interests that they find helpful and enjoyable.
At the end of each day, I would find myself driving home thinking about each interaction and how resilient people are when facing many challenges. Peer support is unique in that it is an equal relationship. I always reflect on what I've learned that day and the pieces that have inspired me. I quickly discovered the benefits of connecting with other peer supporters to debrief tough cases and share beautiful stories of resilience, in confidence, with people who share the same passion for peer support that is ever-growing in me. I am always honoured to celebrate a peer's healthy transition back into their community, feeling better supported in their future.
When someone asks me, "What do you do for a living?"
My answer is this:
“I have the privilege of waking up every morning and connecting with peers who are on their beautiful journey of finding their best selves.”
About Leslie Howard
Leslie Howard started as a peer supporter with Mental Health Innovations (MHI) almost two years ago. She became increasingly aware of the importance of sharing her lived experience to support others on their recovery journey.
When reflecting on her own lived experience and recovery, Leslie always felt she was missing the connection with someone who understood, could relate, and could simply listen without trying to find a solution. Peer support was what she needed and didn’t know existed.
Hope and compassion, to Leslie, are powerful tools to support recovery and wellness for those struggling with mental health challenges. She values the power of creating a meaningful relationship with someone who gets it and knows first-hand the significant difference it can make for others in their mental health journey.
Leslie recently transitioned into a new role at MHI as a Virtual Administrative Assistant. Taking on this role has brought new challenges as well as rewards. Leslie has gained so much insight into her own health and wellness since starting with MHI.
Leslie is excited to continue to grow and learn within this new role, and most of all, she looks forward to being part of a company that is making innovative and meaningful changes.
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